So, some of you, my fellow bloggers, have read through my rants concerning pacifism and non violent resistance. The trouble with these is that when things get heated, I have a hard time stringing two thoughts together. Here is a place where Sarah and I can get some things off of our proverbial chests without causing a riot within our bizarre circle of blogger friends.
When I lived in Portland during the summer of '99, my then boyfriend and I went to see Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. I thought it would be just a quirky, British comedy, albeit with some gunplay. I cannot recall the plotline of the film, just that it was much more violent than I had anticipated.
The following night, we rented L.A. Confidential, which I had not yet seen but if you recall, was hyped as one of the best movies of the year. The unapologetic brutality of this movie prompted me to tears, and I was overwhelmed. God put peace on my heart in a very real way that night, and I don't mean hippie groovy peace, or war-free political agenda peace, but the call to love your neighbors, even when they hate you, and to react non violently in all situtations, relying first upon the power of prayer and forgiveness.
When I returned home to California, I spent hours on the library computers searching for a way to work for peace. I found several interesting sites, but they revealed only channels for dollars not for action, and I felt lead to volunteer time, not donations. I prayed earnestly for answers to this nagging, queasy feeling in my stomach. How could I work for peace, through what channels, and in what capacity? How could I feel so strongly about this, without being able to answer these questions? It took years for me to realize my error: I was addressing peace as a supplement to my faith, instead of knowing that it is part of it. You cannot ask people to refrain from violence "just because". There really isn't a motivation for it if one does not possess a new heart in Christ with peace built right in.
I will conitnue to pray for peace as I have for the last seven years, but I will seek first the Kingdom of God, with His help.
